diff --git a/pgrep.c b/pgrep.c
index cff9ffc..a64dfb8 100644
--- a/pgrep.c
+++ b/pgrep.c
@@ -1,5 +1,23 @@
 #include "phpspy.h"
 
+#define PHPSPY_MAX_SELF_PIDS 32
+
+/* How long a pid we failed to attach to is left alone before trying again.
+   Bounded rather than permanent so a recycled pid, or one that becomes
+   traceable later, is eventually picked up. */
+#define PHPSPY_BAD_PID_RETRY_S 30
+
+/* Two strikes before sidelining a pid: address resolution legitimately fails
+   for a process caught between fork and exec. */
+#define PHPSPY_BAD_PID_STRIKES 2
+
+typedef struct bad_pid_s {
+    int pid;
+    time_t when;
+    int fails;
+    UT_hash_handle hh;
+} bad_pid_t;
+
 static int wait_for_turn(char producer_or_consumer);
 static void pgrep_for_pids();
 static void *run_work_thread(void *arg);
@@ -9,12 +27,26 @@ static void deinit_work_threads();
 static int block_all_signals();
 static void handle_signal(int signum);
 static void *run_signal_thread(void *arg);
+static pid_t get_ppid(pid_t pid);
+static void collect_self_pids();
+static int is_self_pid(pid_t pid);
+static int pid_looks_like_php(pid_t pid);
+static int is_bad_pid(int pid);
+static void mark_bad_pid(int pid);
+static void free_bad_pids();
 
 static int *avail_pids = NULL;
 static int *attached_pids = NULL;
 static pthread_t *work_threads = NULL;
 static pthread_t signal_thread;
 static int avail_pids_count = 0;
+static int pgrep_failed = 0;
+static pid_t self_pids[PHPSPY_MAX_SELF_PIDS];
+static int self_pids_len = 0;
+static regex_t libname_re;
+static int libname_re_ok = 0;
+static bad_pid_t *bad_pids = NULL;
+static pthread_mutex_t bad_pids_mutex = PTHREAD_MUTEX_INITIALIZER;
 static pthread_mutex_t mutex = PTHREAD_MUTEX_INITIALIZER;
 static pthread_cond_t can_produce = PTHREAD_COND_INITIALIZER;
 static pthread_cond_t can_consume = PTHREAD_COND_INITIALIZER;
@@ -31,6 +63,13 @@ int main_pgrep() {
     pthread_create(&signal_thread, NULL, run_signal_thread, NULL);
     block_all_signals();
 
+    collect_self_pids();
+    /* awk patterns are EREs, so `-w` works here unchanged */
+    libname_re_ok = regcomp(&libname_re, opt_libname_awk_patt, REG_EXTENDED | REG_NOSUB) == 0 ? 1 : 0;
+    if (!libname_re_ok) {
+        log_error("main_pgrep: Failed to compile -w pattern; not filtering non-PHP pids by maps\n");
+    }
+
     init_work_threads();
 
     for (i = 0; i < opt_num_workers; i++) {
@@ -50,8 +89,13 @@ int main_pgrep() {
 
     deinit_work_threads();
 
+    if (libname_re_ok) {
+        regfree(&libname_re);
+    }
+    free_bad_pids();
+
     log_error("main_pgrep finished gracefully\n");
-    return 0;
+    return pgrep_failed ? PHPSPY_ERR : 0;
 }
 
 static int wait_for_turn(char producer_or_consumer) {
@@ -84,6 +128,7 @@ static void pgrep_for_pids() {
     char line[64];
     int pid;
     int found;
+    int wstatus, ec;
     struct timespec timeout;
     if (asprintf(&pgrep_cmd, "pgrep %s%s", opt_pgrep_args, opt_quiet ? " 2>/dev/null" : "") < 0) {
         errno = ENOMEM;
@@ -93,15 +138,35 @@ static void pgrep_for_pids() {
     while (!done) {
         if (wait_for_turn('p')) break;
         found = 0;
-        if ((pcmd = popen(pgrep_cmd, "r")) != NULL) {
+        if ((pcmd = popen(pgrep_cmd, "r")) == NULL) {
+            log_perror("pgrep_for_pids: popen");
+            pgrep_failed = 1;
+        } else {
             while (avail_pids_count < opt_num_workers && fgets(line, sizeof(line), pcmd) != NULL) {
                 if (strlen(line) < 1 || *line == '\n') continue;
                 pid = atoi(line);
+                if (pid < 1) continue;
+                if (is_self_pid(pid)) continue;
                 if (is_already_attached(pid)) continue;
+                if (is_bad_pid(pid)) continue;
+                if (!pid_looks_like_php(pid)) continue;
                 avail_pids[avail_pids_count++] = pid;
                 found += 1;
             }
-            pclose(pcmd);
+            wstatus = pclose(pcmd);
+            ec = WIFEXITED(wstatus) ? WEXITSTATUS(wstatus) : -1;
+            /* pgrep: 0=matched, 1=no match, 2=syntax error, 3=fatal. Only a
+               real error is fatal here; "no match" is the normal idle case. */
+            if (ec >= 2 || ec < 0) {
+                log_error(
+                    "pgrep_for_pids: `%s` exited with status %d; check your -P arguments\n"
+                    "        (the argument string is word-split, so a pattern containing spaces\n"
+                    "         becomes several pgrep patterns)\n",
+                    pgrep_cmd,
+                    ec
+                );
+                pgrep_failed = 1;
+            }
         }
         if (found > 0) {
             pthread_cond_broadcast(&can_consume);
@@ -115,24 +180,162 @@ static void pgrep_for_pids() {
             );
         }
         pthread_mutex_unlock(&mutex);
+        if (pgrep_failed) {
+            /* a bad -P never fixes itself; stop rather than looping silently */
+            write_done_pipe();
+            break;
+        }
     }
     free(pgrep_cmd);
 }
 
 static void *run_work_thread(void *arg) {
-    int worker_num;
+    int worker_num, pid, rv;
     worker_num = (long)arg;
     while (!done) {
         if (wait_for_turn('c')) break;
         attached_pids[worker_num] = avail_pids[--avail_pids_count];
         pthread_cond_signal(&can_produce);
         pthread_mutex_unlock(&mutex);
-        main_pid(attached_pids[worker_num]);
+        pid = attached_pids[worker_num];
+        rv = main_pid(pid);
+        /* main_pid only fails before it starts sampling, i.e. we could not
+           attach at all; remember that so the producer stops handing this pid
+           back to us on every poll */
+        if (rv != PHPSPY_OK) {
+            mark_bad_pid(pid);
+        }
         attached_pids[worker_num] = 0;
     }
     return NULL;
 }
 
+static pid_t get_ppid(pid_t pid) {
+    char path[PHPSPY_STR_SIZE];
+    char line[PHPSPY_STR_SIZE];
+    FILE *fp;
+    pid_t ppid;
+
+    ppid = 0;
+    snprintf(path, sizeof(path), "/proc/%d/status", (int)pid);
+    if ((fp = fopen(path, "r")) == NULL) {
+        return 0;
+    }
+    /* status(5) rather than stat(5): the latter's comm field can contain
+       spaces and parens, which makes positional parsing unreliable */
+    while (fgets(line, sizeof(line), fp) != NULL) {
+        if (strncmp(line, "PPid:", 5) == 0) {
+            ppid = (pid_t)atoi(line + 5);
+            break;
+        }
+    }
+    fclose(fp);
+
+    return ppid;
+}
+
+static void collect_self_pids() {
+    pid_t pid;
+
+    /* A `-P` pattern routinely matches phpspy's own command line, and the
+       shell or sudo that launched it, since the pattern text appears there.
+       Threads share the tgid, so getpid() covers every worker. */
+    self_pids_len = 0;
+    pid = getpid();
+    while (pid > 1 && self_pids_len < PHPSPY_MAX_SELF_PIDS) {
+        self_pids[self_pids_len++] = pid;
+        pid = get_ppid(pid);
+    }
+}
+
+static int is_self_pid(pid_t pid) {
+    int i;
+    for (i = 0; i < self_pids_len; i++) {
+        if (self_pids[i] == pid) return 1;
+    }
+    return 0;
+}
+
+static int pid_looks_like_php(pid_t pid) {
+    char path[PHPSPY_STR_SIZE];
+    char exe[PHPSPY_STR_SIZE];
+    char line[PHPSPY_STR_SIZE];
+    ssize_t len;
+    FILE *fp;
+    int found;
+
+    /* Cheap gate in front of find_addresses, which otherwise spends four
+       popen'd shell commands per poll discovering that bash is not PHP.
+       Deliberately fails open: a false negative would silently drop a real
+       target, so anything we cannot determine is allowed through. */
+    snprintf(path, sizeof(path), "/proc/%d/exe", (int)pid);
+    len = readlink(path, exe, sizeof(exe) - 1);
+    if (len < 0) return 1; /* not permitted to look, or already gone */
+    exe[len] = '\0';
+    if (strstr(exe, "php") != NULL) return 1;
+    if (!libname_re_ok) return 1;
+
+    /* mod_php and friends run under another exe name, so look for the lib */
+    snprintf(path, sizeof(path), "/proc/%d/maps", (int)pid);
+    if ((fp = fopen(path, "r")) == NULL) return 1;
+    found = 0;
+    while (fgets(line, sizeof(line), fp) != NULL) {
+        if (regexec(&libname_re, line, 0, NULL, 0) == 0) {
+            found = 1;
+            break;
+        }
+    }
+    fclose(fp);
+
+    return found;
+}
+
+static int is_bad_pid(int pid) {
+    bad_pid_t *bad;
+    int stale;
+
+    /* Without this, a pid we cannot attach to -- another user's PHP process,
+       say, whose /proc is not readable -- is re-queued on every poll, and each
+       attempt spends several popen'd shell commands rediscovering that. */
+    pthread_mutex_lock(&bad_pids_mutex);
+    HASH_FIND_INT(bad_pids, &pid, bad);
+    stale = bad != NULL && (time(NULL) - bad->when) >= PHPSPY_BAD_PID_RETRY_S;
+    if (stale) {
+        HASH_DEL(bad_pids, bad);
+        free(bad);
+        bad = NULL;
+    }
+    pthread_mutex_unlock(&bad_pids_mutex);
+
+    return (bad != NULL && bad->fails >= PHPSPY_BAD_PID_STRIKES) ? 1 : 0;
+}
+
+static void mark_bad_pid(int pid) {
+    bad_pid_t *bad;
+
+    pthread_mutex_lock(&bad_pids_mutex);
+    HASH_FIND_INT(bad_pids, &pid, bad);
+    if (bad == NULL) {
+        if ((bad = calloc(1, sizeof(bad_pid_t))) != NULL) {
+            bad->pid = pid;
+            HASH_ADD_INT(bad_pids, pid, bad);
+        }
+    }
+    if (bad != NULL) {
+        bad->when = time(NULL);
+        bad->fails += 1;
+    }
+    pthread_mutex_unlock(&bad_pids_mutex);
+}
+
+static void free_bad_pids() {
+    bad_pid_t *bad, *bad_tmp;
+    HASH_ITER(hh, bad_pids, bad, bad_tmp) {
+        HASH_DEL(bad_pids, bad);
+        free(bad);
+    }
+}
+
 static int is_already_attached(int pid) {
     int i;
     for (i = 0; i < opt_num_workers; i++) {
diff --git a/tests/test_pgrep_bad_args.sh b/tests/test_pgrep_bad_args.sh
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..f15db43
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/test_pgrep_bad_args.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
+#!/bin/bash
+
+if ! command -v pgrep >/dev/null 2>&1; then
+    echo -e "  \x1b[33mSKIP\x1b[0m pgrep not available"
+    exit 0
+fi
+
+# The -P string is word-split by the shell, so a multi-word pattern becomes
+# several pgrep patterns and pgrep fails on every poll. phpspy used to loop on
+# that forever while writing nothing.
+err=$(timeout 15 $PHPSPY --limit=1 --pgrep '-f aaaaaaaa -f bbbbbbbb' --threads 1 2>&1 >/dev/null)
+ec=$?
+
+if [ "$ec" -eq 124 ]; then
+    echo -e "  \x1b[31mERR \x1b[0m pgrep_failure_is_fatal (hung)"
+    exit 1
+fi
+if grep -q 'exited with status 2' <<<"$err" && grep -q 'word-split' <<<"$err"; then
+    echo -e "  \x1b[32mOK  \x1b[0m pgrep_failure_reported"
+else
+    echo -e "  \x1b[31mERR \x1b[0m pgrep_failure_reported\n$err"
+    exit 1
+fi
+if [ "$ec" -ne 0 ]; then
+    echo -e "  \x1b[32mOK  \x1b[0m pgrep_failure_exit_code (exit=$ec)"
+else
+    echo -e "  \x1b[31mERR \x1b[0m pgrep_failure_exit_code expected non-zero"
+    exit 1
+fi
diff --git a/tests/test_pgrep_self.sh b/tests/test_pgrep_self.sh
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..0c48f6e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/test_pgrep_self.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
+#!/bin/bash
+
+if ! command -v pgrep >/dev/null 2>&1; then
+    echo -e "  \x1b[33mSKIP\x1b[0m pgrep not available"
+    exit 0
+fi
+
+# A -P pattern nearly always matches phpspy's own command line, since the
+# pattern text appears there. phpspy used to attach to itself (and to the shell
+# and sudo above it), shelling out to objdump for each one on every poll.
+err=$(timeout 15 $PHPSPY --limit=1 --pgrep '-f phpspy' --threads 2 --time-limit-ms=1000 2>&1 >/dev/null)
+
+for pat in 'objdump' 'get_symbol_offset: Failed' 'get_php_bin_path: Failed'; do
+    if grep -q "$pat" <<<"$err"; then
+        echo -e "  \x1b[31mERR \x1b[0m no_self_probe: saw '$pat'\n$err"
+        exit 1
+    fi
+done
+echo -e "  \x1b[32mOK  \x1b[0m no_self_probe"